


The Best Gift of All

by theoofoof



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barba comes back, Christmas, F/M, reunited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22099390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoofoof/pseuds/theoofoof
Summary: Rafael Barba left New York in February. It's now Christmas Eve and, due to a series of missed opportunities, he and Olivia Benson haven't seen each other since. What happens when Rafael returns to the city unexpectedly?
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 17
Kudos: 99





	The Best Gift of All

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you're all still feeling festive, as this was supposed to be done in time for Christmas, but illness and other personal circumstances meant that it wasn't.

**_24 th December 2018_ **

The halls were decked, the tree trimmed, the stockings hung, and Olivia Benson was looking forward to a quiet Christmas Eve with her son. The last ten months had been difficult, so she was taking a well-deserved break over the holidays.

Last Christmas, after the trauma they’d been through at the hands of Sheila Porter, Olivia and Noah had been inundated with invitations from friends. They joined Amanda and Jesse at Sonny’s parents’ house in Staten Island for dinner on Christmas Eve before attending midnight Mass with Rafael and his mother. She and Noah had spent Christmas morning opening and playing with the boy’s new gifts before she’d hosted an open house in the afternoon. She’d needed the distraction to stop her from thinking about the events of three weeks prior and was grateful for the company and the chance to catch up with friends – old and new.

This year, invitations had been extended from Amanda, Sonny, Fin and even Peter Stone, but Olivia politely declined them all, making a conscious decision to spend a quiet few days at home. The last ten months had been a busy blur and, quite frankly, she didn’t think she had the energy to dedicate to the holiday. A simple celebration, full of quality time with her son, that was her Christmas wish this year.

She had hoped that she and Rafael would be able to reconnect during the festive period, but it wasn’t to be. He and his mother were flying to Miami to spend the holiday with family so he wouldn’t be returning to Manhattan, meaning they would be unable to catch up. It was becoming something of a pattern for them this year.

After leaving the DA’s office back in February, Rafael had moved to the outskirts of Boston and taken up a teaching position at Northeastern’s law school. They had kept in contact, messaging and calling each other several times a week. Yet, every time they tried to arrange to meet in person, something happened to prevent it.

At Easter, when Rafael returned to see his mother, Olivia had been out of town at a conference. He met Noah and Lucy at the park though and spent the afternoon playing catch and seeing how Noah’s baseball skills were improving. Noah talked non-stop about it when she returned and insisted they make a plan to see Uncle Rafa again as soon as possible.

They arranged for him to drive down again for Memorial Day weekend, but his car died on the I-84 and by the time he was towed back home, and his car fixed, it was late Saturday evening and it seemed pointless to make the long journey for two days.

Olivia was rostered to work over 4th July so another plan was made for summer. After Rafael had finished his classes for summer school, Olivia and Noah were supposed to drive up to see him, but Noah came down with a bad case of chickenpox and they were unable to make the trip.

His mother had wanted to get out of the city for Thanksgiving and Olivia had been working, so that was another holiday spent apart.

Overall, the last ten months had been a series of missed opportunities, not unlike the previous few years of their friendship. There had been times, she knew, when Rafael had been ready to move their relationship forward. It hadn’t been spoken of, she had just known - but at those times, she either hadn’t been ready or had been seeing someone else. And then, when she was finally ready and unattached, his world fell apart around him, leaving him in no position to be starting a romantic relationship.

Olivia had thought that perhaps, once he’d got his life together, there would be time for them to explore what they meant to each other, but now, she was starting to wonder if, maybe, the universe was telling them they had missed their chance – if they were ever supposed to have had one in the first place.

The buzzing of her phone on the coffee table dragged her from her thoughts. She reached for it, eyeing the caller display suspiciously.

_Chief Dodds._

She knew her dreams of a quiet Christmas was too good to be true; there was only one possible reason he would be calling her while she was on leave. With a heavy sigh, she picked it up, swiping her finger across the screen to answer.

“Benson.”

“Lieutenant. I’m sorry to bother you over the holidays but I’ve just had a call from Senator Collins. Her daughter was at a party last night and is now in the hospital. It looks like she was raped and…”

“You need me to come in.” It was a high-profile case and given the optics, it was understandable.

“Senator Collins wants the best. She asked for you personally.” It was on the tip of Olivia’s tongue to make a sarcastic comment about being flattered but Dodds didn’t give her a chance to get a word in. “You’d only have to take the disclosure. I know you’ve got plans with Noah. Sergeant Tutuola can lead the ongoing investigation.”

Olivia looked at her watch. She had promised Noah they could bake Christmas cookies. “Which hospital?”

“Mt Sinai.”

“Can you have Detective Rollins meet me there? I need someone to watch Noah – my nanny is on vacation.” Maybe she could alleviate Noah’s disappointment with a trip to Central Park on the way home – she was sure there was a fresh layer of snow that would be begging to be made into a snowman.

“Will do. I appreciate this Olivia. Happy holidays.”

“Same to you chief,” she replied, barely holding in her eye roll. She stood up, steeling herself for an outburst from her son. “Noah!”

* * *

Noah’s initial disappointment had mostly dissipated by the time they arrived at the hospital and the final pout was wiped off his face by Amanda waiting with a steaming mug of hot chocolate – with marshmallows – for him.

Olivia and Fin took the girl’s disclosure, listening as she described what little she could remember from the night before. Once Fin had assured the girl and the senator that the case was their top priority and the holidays wouldn’t preclude them investigating and Olivia had promised she was only at the end of the phone if any of her squad needed her assistance, they returned to the ER waiting area to find Amanda and Noah.

Wishing them well for the holidays, Olivia dispatched Fin and Amanda to the girl’s workplace to obtain a list of guests who were at the party before turning to Noah.

“Are you done with work now?” the boy asked.

“I am. And Uncle Fin has promised not to call until the day after Christmas. So, ready to hit the park?”

Noah nodded, pushing himself off the hard, plastic chair. Olivia took his empty Styrofoam mug from him, so he could put on his coat, hat and scarf, and turned to put it in the trash.

“I know, Tía Maria but the doctors say she should have the surgery within the next 24 hours.”

Olivia stopped dead, her hand hovering over the trash can. She knew that voice. She’d spent hours listening to it in her office, in courtrooms, in her home. She disposed of the mug and turned slowly, wondering if she was in the middle of some stress-induced Christmas hallucination. But no. There he was. Rafael Barba. She stared at the side of his head for a few seconds; he was sporting a beard and had more salt and pepper in his hair than he’d had when he left, but it was definitely him. She watched him for a few moments – stood in the middle of the ER waiting area, on his phone, strings of Spanish phrase falling from his lips – until he turned in her direction.

His eyes widened as they locked with hers. They stood staring at each other for a few moments until someone shouting expletives at a vending machine broke the moment. He held up his index finger to silently asking her to give him a second and returned his attention to the

_“Si, si. Tengo que irme. Te llamaré mañana. Feliz Navidad, Tía María. Adiós.”_ He slid his phone into the pocket of his jeans and stepped towards her. “Liv? Hi.”

She tucked her a strand of hair behind her ear. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here? Is it Noah? Is he sick?” His eyes darted around the waiting area, looking for signs of the boy.

She smiled at his concern for her son. “No, he’s fine.” She waved a hand at her son, bent down with his tongue peeking out as he concentrated on tying his shoelaces. “I had a work thing.”

“I thought you were on leave?”

“I was. I am.” She indicated her casual get-up; jeans and a pale blue sweater. “But we caught a case with a high-profile vic, so Dodds wanted me here. But I’m done for the holidays now.”

“Moooooom, come on!” Noah, who had finished dressing for the wintery conditions was now tapping his foot impatiently. She turned, stepping out of the way and Noah’s eyes lit up. “Uncle Rafa!” He rushed towards the man, arms outstretched.

He collided with Rafael, who hadn’t been quick enough to bend down, and wrapped his arms around him. “Hi Noah,” Rafael said, ruffling the boy’s curls.

The boy peered up at him. “I thought you were on holiday?”

“I was, but my mom had a fall yesterday and she’s here in the hospital, so we can’t go.”

“Is she okay?” the boy asked.

“She’s broken her hip and needs surgery.”

Olivia reached out and lay a hand on his arm. “Oh, Rafa.”

“She’s in quite good spirits considering. I mean, she’s spent the last few hours issuing orders so…”

She chuckled. “That does sound like her.” She’d only met Lucia Barba on a handful of occasions, but she struck Olivia as a formidable woman who would view a broken hip as more of an inconvenience than anything else.

“I’ve just been to pick her up some things and am on my way up to see her if you want to say hello?” Rafael suggested, not wanting to part just yet from the one person he’d missed most while he was away. Well, two if you counted Noah.

“Only if you think she won’t mind.” She didn’t want to intrude if Lucia wasn’t feeling up to it.

“Hardly,” scoffed Rafael. I think you are the most discussed topic whenever I talk to her. It’s always, ‘how’s Lieutenant Benson?’ or ‘Have you spoken to Lieutenant Benson recently?’ It’s rather exhausting, really.”

Olivia smiled at his words, despite the reddening of her cheeks. She glanced at her son, still clinging tightly to Rafael’s legs. It seemed his desire to go to the park had been dampened a little by the reappearance of his favourite uncle. “What do you think, Noah? Do you think we can spare a few minutes to say hello to Mrs Barba?”

The boy shrugged. “Okay, mom.” He took hold of Rafael’s hand and allowed him to lead the way, Olivia falling into step next to them. When they arrived at his mother’s room, Rafael dropped Noah’s hand and knocked lightly on the door before entering. Olivia and Noah held back a moment.

“Hola, Mami.” He placed the holdall he had been carrying on the chair beside her. “Look who I ran into…” He gestured to the door.

“Lieutenant Benson! What a surprise.” Her eyes flitted to Noah. “Oh, and this must be Noah.”

Noah smiled shyly and, with a nudge from his mother, said, “Hello.”

“How are you feeling, Mrs Barba?” Olivia asked, stepping further into the room as Rafael began unpacking the bag he had brought; placing the things neatly in the bedside cabinet.

“Lucia, please. I feel a little foolish for falling, but I’m doing okay. I’m disappointed that I can’t make the trip to Miami, but there’s nothing to be done about it. _Así son las cosas._ I’m sure the Christmas CD I asked Rafi to bring me will help cheer me up. _If_ he remembered.”

Rafael rolled his eyes. “How could I forget, you made sure to remind me about twenty times. Even though I told you I could put them on your phone.” He retrieved the CD and a small portable player from the holdall and put them on the table, before continuing to unpack her belongings.

“Oh, I can’t be doing with all that nonsense. A phone should be for phoning people, not playing music.”

Noah looked at the older woman curiously, not quite understanding why people would only use their phone to make phone calls. “Will you have to stay in the hospital over Christmas?” he asked Lucia.

The older woman gave him a soft smile. “Unfortunately, young Noah, I will. The doctors are going to give me surgery to fix my hip later so I’ll be here for a few days.”

Rafael ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry, _mi amigo_. Santa will make sure to bring her gifts here instead of Miami,” he assured the boy, thinking that was the reason for his concern.

“But… does that mean you’ll be on your own for Christmas, Uncle Rafa?”

“I er… well, I suppose so.” He hadn’t really thought about what would happen now his mother as in hospital; he’d been too worried about his mother. “But I’ll be visiting _Mami_ , so I won’t be alone _all_ day.”

“You are welcome to join us,” Olivia offered. “It won’t be anything fancy. Just a quiet meal tonight and then a day by the tree tomorrow. The sofa folds out, so you’re welcome to stay.” He knew that of course – he’d camped out several times when they had worked late into the night – but, after ten months apart, she wanted to assure him he was still welcome.

“I…” He looked indecisively from Olivia to his mother. Spending a quiet Christmas with his best friend and her son – especially after the numerous failed attempts to see each other over the last year – sounded like heaven, but he had a duty to his mother that he couldn’t ignore. “Thanks, Liv, but I think…”

Lucia rolled her eyes and pressed her lips together. “Don’t even think about refusing Lieutenant Benson’s kind offer. I’ll be well looked after here, and you can still pop in for a visit. There’s no reason your Christmas should be ruined even more than it already has been.”

“ _Mami_ …”

“Please, Uncle Rafa! Please come spend Christmas with us.”

Rafael looked once again at Olivia. “If you’re sure…?”

Her lips curved into a smile. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”

He turned to Noah who was practically vibrating with anticipation. “Well then _mi_ _amigo_ , looks like I’m coming for Christmas.”

* * *

Olivia and Noah had visited with Lucia for a few more minutes before excusing themselves to allow Rafael some time alone with his mother. When he asked what time he should arrive and did she want him to bring anything, she told him that he could arrive whenever he wished – he was always welcome – but she planned to eat about six-thirty, and that he needn’t bring anything but himself and an overnight bag.

Once she and Noah had left the hospital, they spent an hour or so at the park, before calling at the grocery store for a few extra bits for dinner on the way home. Olivia recalled that there wasn’t much scotch left in bottle Rafael had hidden away in her kitchen for those times they worked late into the night going over case files and witness testimony. She also knew he had a soft spot for cranberries with his turkey, so she picked up some of those too. She didn’t need to worry about gifts for Rafael. She’d bought them back in November, and they were still sat on the top shelf of her closet. She’d meant to Fed-Ex them to him before he left for Miami (as he had done with hers and Noah’s) but she had been that busy with work she hadn’t managed to make it to the post office. Thankfully, she had wrapped them at least. That would be one less job to do.

Rafael had sent her a text while they were in the store, saying he was just leaving the hospital and had a couple of errands to run, but was planning on arriving at her apartment around five-ish if that was okay. By the time she and Noah had negotiated the hordes of last-minute shoppers, that gave Olivia just enough time to get home, freshen up and change her clothes. The knock at her door came as she was running her brush through her hair.

Butterflies danced in her stomach as she walked toward the door. She couldn’t wait to spend some time with her best friend after all this time. But there was something more too, under the surface and Olivia couldn’t shake the thought that whatever happened over the next few days, could define the course of their relationship. It had been too long since she had felt this kind of thrill of anticipation. She drew a thin, slightly shaky breath as she opened the door.

Rafael stood there wearing a dark jacket thrown over a dark red button-down and a pair of jeans, his overnight bag in his hands. “Hi. I’m not too early, am I?”

She shook her head. “Not at all.” She stepped back to allow him to enter. “Come on in.”

He shrugged off his jacket as he entered and lay it over the back of the chair, placing the bag by the sofa. “You’ve redecorated,” he observed, looking around taking in the now gold-coloured walls.

“It was past time.”

He nodded approvingly. “It’s different, but it’s nice. I like it.”

“Noah!” Olivia called to the back of the apartment. “Uncle Rafa’s here.”

There was the sound of some Lego hitting the floor and a second later, Noah came around the doorway and ran toward Rafael. He grabbed his hand and tugged Rafael further into the apartment. “Come and see what I’m building. It’s the Lego you sent me for my birthday! From Star Wars,” he added, in case the lawyer had forgotten.

“Noah,” Olivia admonished gently, “give Uncle Rafa a minute. He’s only just arrived.”

“But I’ve been waiting to show him for ages!” pouted Noah. Only a stern glare from Olivia stopped him from stamping his foot.

“It’s okay, Liv,” Rafael assured. “You’re right Noah, it has been a while since we played Lego together. But it’s been a while since I’ve seen your mom too. So, how about we bring the Lego in here, hmm?”

Noah worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, before coming to a decision. “Okay, but be careful with it. It took me and Momma aaaaaaages to do it so far.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “She’s not as good at Lego as you.”

Rafael bent down and returned the whisper conspiratorially. “That’s alright. Maybe we can teach her.” He lifted his head and winked at Olivia before speaking once more to Noah. “Now, why don’t you clear a space on the coffee table while I get the Lego?”

“Okay, Uncle Rafa.”

Olivia followed Rafael to Noah’s room, leaning on the doorframe as he examined the Rebel U-Wing fighter and determined the best way to transport it from Noah’s Lego table to the living room.

“You know you don’t have to be at Noah’s beck and call all day, right?” she told him, nudging some stray pieces to the side with her foot to clear a path for Rafael. “Feel free to tell him, no. He is capable of amusing himself – despite what he might let you believe.”

Rafael laughed, carefully lifting the model from the table and starting toward the door. “It’s alright, Liv. I don’t mind I’ve…” he paused to step over an obstacle Olivia had missed during her clearance. “I’ve kinda missed him, y’know?”

“Yeah. He’s kinda missed you too – if you couldn’t tell.”

Rafael paused when he reached her, still leaning casually on the doorframe. “What about his mother?”

“Of course I’ve missed you.” Olivia’s gaze fell to the floor and she drew in a steadying breath before looking up at him once more. “Not seeing you has been… difficult,” she admitted. “I missed having you in my corner at work, but it’s more than that. I’ve missed our sidebars, our late-night drinks, the trips to the park with Noah. I missed having my best friend around, especially when I–.” Her teeth scraped across her bottom lip as she considered whether to say the words that were on the tip of her tongue. This was not a conversation she had envisioned having this early in the evening. She’d thought she’d be several drinks in before they discussed the changes forced on their friendship over the past ten months and what that meant for them going forward. “I thought...” She shook her head, trailing off as she felt the blood rush to her cheeks, “Never mind.” 

He regarded her for a moment, trying to read her expression. “How much,” he began, “do you think Noah would hate me if I dropped his model on the floor?” Olivia’s brow furrowed at the seemingly unrelated question. Seeing the cogs turning, he bent closer his voice rumbling against her ear, “Because I really want to hold you right now.”

A year ago, he wouldn’t have dared be so forward. But being apart from her for the last ten months had changed him and hearing that she missed him as much as he had missed her had spurred him on to take a leap. One he’d dreamt of for longer than he cared to admit. 

“You could just put it down on the bed. That way everyone gets what they want?”

“Hmm, everyone?” He flashed her the lopsided smirk that she loved so much.

She hummed softly. “Yeah, everyone.”

Rafael turned and gently placed the Lego model on Noah’s bed before taking her hands in his and drawing her into the circle of his arms and against the solid wall of his chest. His arms slipped loosely around her waist. Hers went around his too, snaking up to grip his shoulders tightly. He could count on one hand the number of times he had held her in his arms before today, and he marvelled every time at how right it felt and how well they fit together. It was something he had found himself craving while he was away and, when the opportunity had presented itself, he hadn’t been able to resist.

Olivia’s eyes closed as his warmth filled her and she barely held in the tears that were threatening to fall. She had missed him. She had missed this. The physical contact between them had always been restricted to brushes of hands as they passed each other files or his hand at the small of her back when he allowed her to pass through a door slightly ahead of him. All that changed when Sheila Porter had appeared in their lives. She’d allowed him to take her hand and brush his fingers over her knuckles as he reassured her that she was making the right decisions about her son. Then, when Sheila had proven to be everything Olivia had initially feared, she had broken down and Rafael had rushed to her, gathering her up in his arms. After that, something had shifted and the touches became more frequent, more personal, more deliberate, culminating in the handholding and forehead kiss before he left.

Olivia’s breath hitched as Rafael whispered softly against her neck, “I missed you too, Liv.” His lips brushed the curve of her jaw, where it met her ear. “More than I’ve ever missed anyone or anything.”

She looked up at him, her eyes shining, and something shifted. Olivia’s tongue darted out to sweep across her dry lips as his hand found her cheek. They moved as if drawn to each other, their faces inching closer and closer until their breath mingled and–

“What’s taking so long, Uncle Rafa? Did you break it?”

The two sprang apart at the sound of Noah’s voice carrying through the apartment and Olivia, her cheeks flaming, turned her head in the direction of the living area. “Your model’s fine,” she called. “Uncle Rafa and I will be there in a minute. Why don’t you find some Christmas music to accompany your building,” she suggested, trying to buy them a little time. Swallowing thickly, she turned back to Rafael. “He’s going to come looking for us if we stay in here much longer.”

Rafael could sense Olivia’s discomfort and wanted to reassure her that nothing had changed between them. “Then we’d better go.” His hand found the back of her neck and pulled her towards him, just as he had done ten months ago, and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“The last time you did that, you left,” she reminded him.

“Not this time,” he promised. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the evening. We can talk about this,” he waved a hand between them, “later, when Noah’s in bed. If you want to, that is.?”

A small part of her wanted to say forget the Lego, let’s talk now, but she knew that was neither fair to Noah, nor feasible. Instead, she gave him a slight nod and smile. “Later.”

* * *

Rafael and Noah played happily for the next hour – Noah talking a mile a minute about all the things that had happened to him since he’d last seen Rafael and the two adults sharing shy, almost bashful, smiles over the top of the boy’s head – until Olivia took the garlic bread out of the oven, “Come on boys,” she called. “Time to put the Lego away and wash up. Dinner’s ready.”

After dispatching Noah to the back of the apartment, Rafael made his way to the table as Liv placed the garlic bread next to a steaming bowl of spaghetti and a tray of chicken parmigiana. “This looks delicious, Liv,” he said, pulling out what had traditionally been his seat when he’d joined them for dinner before.

“Wine?” she asked, holding up a bottle of Cabernet and grabbing a corkscrew when he nodded. She carried them both to the table. “It’s not much. I always stick to something simple on Christmas Eve: I have ever since I was a rookie and never sure if I’d be called out. Then with Noah, who’s still in his picky-eater phase, I didn’t see the point in cooking something elaborate for jut myself. I hope it’s okay, I’m sure if you were in Miami, you’d be…”

“…being driven mad by numerous aunts asking about my love life. I think I can safely say, I’d much rather be here.” He held out his glass to allow Olivia to fill it. 

She smiled as she poured. “But the food would have been…”

“…delicious,” he agreed. “As I’m sure this will be.” He raised his eyebrows, daring her to disagree and sat down as Noah returned from the bathroom.

“Let me see,” Olivia said, and Noah held out his hands for her to inspect. She nodded at his efforts. “Good boy.”

Noah clambered up onto his chair and continued the recount of his year. “And in my first match, I didn’t miss a single pitch!”

“That’s great Noah,” Rafael praised, spooning some noodles onto the boy’s plate, as Olivia dished him up some chicken.

“Did you ever play baseball, Uncle Rafa?” the boy asked. 

Olivia and Rafael shared a look, Olivia smirking slightly. He’d made no secret with her about how well his experience in little league had gone. “I did,” Rafael told him. “But I didn’t really enjoy it, probably because I wasn’t very good at it.”

“Do you think you might enjoy watching it now? Because you can always come and watch one of my games. I think I’d like that.”

“You know what, Noah? I think I’d like that. When you get your schedule for the rest of the season, let me know and we’ll sort something out, okay?”

Noah nodded, tucking into his food.

“Has everyone got everything they need?” Olivia asked.

“We’re fine,” Rafael assured. He tapped her chair. “Sit. Eat.”

“Smile?”

They shared a knowing glance as she lay the tea towel over the back of the spare chair and sat down.

Rafael lifted his wine glass. “To finally getting to spend some time together,” he toasted. “Despite the unfortunate circumstances.”

“Hear, hear,” Olivia agreed, clinking her glass with Rafael’s.

Noah raised his plastic glass too and Olivia and Rafael obliged him by touching their glasses to his.

“Have you heard from the hospital?” Olivia asked.

He shook his head, glass half-way to his lips. “Not yet. If they’ve not called by the time we’ve finished dinner, I’ll call them.”

She reached out a hand, curling it around his forearm. “She’ll be okay. The doctors do this kind of surgery every day.”

“I know,” Rafael told her, but the sentiment didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Momma, maybe we could send Mrs Barba some of the Christmas cookies we made? I’m sure they’ll make her feel better.”

“I’m sure they will, sweet boy. That’s a lovely idea. We’ll package some of them up for Uncle Rafa to take when he visits tomorrow.”

“She’ll love them, Noah. Thank you.”

The rest of dinner passed in much the same manner as it began, Noah dominating the conversation and peppering Rafael with questions. Olivia had just set down dessert – toffee cheesecake and a selection of ice-creams – when Rafael’s phone sprang to life on the coffee table.

He rushed to answer it. “Hello? Yes, this is he.”

“Yes… I see...” He paced the length of the living room as he spoke. “That soon? N-no, that’s fine. Thank you for calling.” He hung up and looked to the kitchen to find Olivia watching him, her eyes full of concern. “That was the hospital,” he said, pocketing his phone and returning to the table. “Mami’s surgery went well. She’s awake and giving the nurses orders. They say they’ll have her up and walking within a day or so,” he commented, eyebrows raised.

“That’s… quick.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“But they must think she’ll be ready, so that’s a good sign, right?”

“Yes, I suppose it is.” He surveyed the table of desserts. “That’s a lot of ice-cream. I can’t imagine who will eat all that!”

“I will, Uncle Rafa! I will!”

“You’ll have two scoops and that’s all.”

He folded his arms. “Awww, but momma!”

“Two scoops, or your Christmas Eve box will have to wait until tomorrow.”

The box had been sat under the tree since before Olivia had been called out earlier and Noah had been stealing glances at it all day. The possibility that he might lose it made him think twice about his demand for extra ice cream.

Noah sighed. “Okay, but can I have extra syrup?”

Rafael chuckled as Olivia rolled her eyes.

“I blame you for this,” she told her friend, pointing the ice-cream scoop at him. Her son seemed to be taking after his surrogate uncle with regards to his negotiating skills. She turned to Noah. “Okay. Just this once, you can have extra syrup.”

Over her shoulder, Rafael winked at the boy and when he retook his seat, leant over and whispered, “Well played, _mi amigo._ Well played,” before giving him a high-five.

Olivia gave them a pointed look, but the gleam in her eyes and the twitching of her mouth told them she wasn’t really annoyed. If anything, she’d missed the way Noah and Rafael would team up against her. He did it with his other uncles too, but neither Sonny nor Fin were quite as adept at it as Rafael.

When the ice-cream was gone and Rafael and Olivia began clearing the table, Noah raced to the tree and pulled out the bright red box that bore his name. “Can I open it now? You did say after dinner,” he reminded.

“Okay,” Olivia relented, wiping her hands on a towel and rounding the breakfast bar.

Noah carried the box to the sofa and sat down with it on his lap. When Olivia sat down next to him, he looked back at the kitchen, his brow furrowed. “Are you not coming, Uncle Rafa?”

“Oh, erm… right. Hang on.” Rafael put the dishes he was holding into the dishwasher and joined them in the living area.

He sat down on the other side of Noah. “So, what’s in the box?” He raised an eyebrow and Noah beamed. He untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, pulling out a new set of pyjamas – dark blue with a Rudolph motif – a pair of Rudolph slippers and a pop-up book.

“Yay a new book.” He read the title, “’Twas the Night Before Christmas,” and frowned. “What’s twas?” he asked.

“It’s an old word,” Olivia explained.

“It means ‘it was’,” Rafael continued.

“Ohhh.” Noah dragged out the word. He opened one of the pages and his eyes widened as the pages popped up and the book came to life in his hands.

After allowing Noah a few moments to look at his new book, Olivia spoke again. “There’s something else,” she said, pointing to the box. “Under the tissue. Be gentle.”

Noah moved the shredded tissue paper to one side to reveal a hand-decorated plate for Santa with spaces for him to leave a cookie and a glass of milk, as well as a carrot for Rudolph. The edges of the plate were decorated with pictures of holly, bells and other Christmas figures. The writing at the top said, _‘For Santa and Rudolph’_ and then at the bottom was written, _‘From Noah’._

“It’s got my name on it!”

“That is very cool,” Rafael agreed.

“Can we put the cookies and milk out for Santa now?”

“Bath first, I think.” She reached for the TV remote and handed it to Noah. “Why don’t you find something to watch while Uncle Rafa and I clean up the kitchen? Then we’ll get you ready for bed.” She moved to stand but was halted by Rafael’s hand on her arm.

“I’ll finish up in there, you go sort him out.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “I know how often you used to miss bathtime, and I’m pretty sure that’s still the case. Go and enjoy it. Leave the kitchen to me.”

She did often miss bathtime. And had recently missed more bedtimes too. Stone had been trying to get caught up before the holidays which meant more late nights at the office. He didn’t seem concerned that she was missing precious time with her son, and never suggested they work at her place. Which was just as well, as she didn’t think she’d be able to allow him to share her space the way Rafael had done.

“Thanks. Rafa, I think I will. Come on, sweet boy. Bath and pjs and then we’ll snuggle up in front of something before bedtime.”

“Uncle Rafa too?”

The two shared another shy smile and Rafael nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Uncle Rafa too.”

* * *

To the surprise of no-one, Noah – wearing his new pyjamas – insisted that his uncle read him his new book at bedtime; he did the best voices after all. Rafael obliged, and fell back into the familiar bedtime routine that he’d been part of at least once a week before he left. Once Noah was tucked in and sleeping peacefully, Rafael helped Olivia play Santa. They piled his presents under the tree and Rafael ate the cookie, being sure to leave some crumbs to add the illusion that Santa had been, and Olivia drank the milk before the two of them retreated to the sofa with a drink. Wine for her, scotch for him. 

The room was lit in muted tones. In the corner of the living room, a large Christmas tree glowed with white, twinkling lights, decorated tastefully in pale blue and silver. A lamp burned at one end of the sofa and the television was on, also providing some light, but the volume turned low as neither were paying it any attention. Their near kiss hovered between them - they both knew there was a conversation that needed to be had but neither was quite sure how to start it.

Olivia fingered the stem of her wine glass, chancing glances at him from the corner of her eye. After several, highly awkward minutes of silence, she chastised herself. _You’re being ridiculous. This is your best friend. You used to be able to tell him anything. Just talk to him._

“So…” _Well, that was eloquent._ Olivia shook her head slightly, ridding herself of her inner critic.

“So…” Rafael repeated, swirling the amber liquid around his glass.

“I think we should talk about before. We did say we would.”

He nodded, wondering where all the confidence he had had in that earlier moment had disappeared too. “Before we do…” he paused, reaching into his overnight bag. He pulled out a small, wrapped gift and turned back to Olivia. “Noah’s had his Christmas Eve present, it’s time you had yours.”

Olivia looked from the package in his hand to the several that were already under the tree, delivered by courier two days before.

“It’s a last-minute addition,” he told her, with a shy smile, handing it to her. “I picked it up this afternoon.”

Putting her glass down, she accepted the gift and pulled at the bow. She turned the package over in her hands to slip her finger along the seam of the white and gold paper, revealing a copy of Lonely Planet’s _Best of New York City 2020 guide._ On further examination, she noticed there were brightly coloured sticky notes peeking out of several pages. On the inside of the front cover was a message written in Rafael’s familiar penmanship:

_Liv, Here’s to more time together and less last-minute cancellations. Rafa x_

She flipped through it, noticing that he had marked several major tourist attractions as well as a myriad of events taking place throughout the year. Some child and family-friendly, others less so.

“It’s a lovely gesture, Rafa, thank you. Although, given our schedules, do you not think all this might be a tad ambitious?” she said with a smile.

He took a sip of his drink and placed it on the coffee table before, turning his body toward her and reaching for her hand.

“The last few months, not seeing you every day, has been hard, Liv. Really fucking hard. I know it was my choice to leave and, at the time, I thought was the right one. The only one available to me. But the longer I was away, the more I realised how much I wanted, needed you in my life. And that, no matter how hard I tried, my feelings for you weren’t going to go away.”

“Rafa, I…”

He shook his head. “Please Liv, let me finish.” He reached down into his bag again and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I’ve been offered a job,” he told her.

She took the letter from him with her free hand, her eyes scanning the page. “Professor?” she asked, her lips curving into a smile. “At Fordham?”

He nodded.

“Wow, Rafa! That’s amazing. Congratulations.” Her gaze fell to the guidebook in her lap and the inscription he’d written After a few seconds, her eyes snapped to his. “Y-you’re coming home?”

He smiled. “I am. But I don’t expect you to… I know I hurt you by leaving and I…” he faltered, running a hand through his hair. There was so much he wanted to say to her. He’d rehearsed his speech many times – far more than he had any opening or closing statements for trial – but now, in the moment, his emotions had taken over and he couldn’t seem to find the words.

Sensing he was struggling, Olivia let the letter fall into her lap and cupped his cheek. “Can I say something now?”

He nodded mutely, not trusting himself to speak.

“I told you before how hard it’s been not having you around. But I don’t blame you. Yes, it hurt, but I understand _why_ you left. And it’s not like you disappeared off the face of the earth. You called. We’ve tried to see each other, but it seemed the universe had other ideas.” She stroked her thumb across his cheekbone. “But now, we’ve been given another chance, and I’ll be damned if I’m wasting second of it.”

She scooted closer to him and, pulling her other hand from where it was still gripped by his, took both sides of his face in her hands and pressed her lips gently to his.

The touch of her lips shook him, and Rafael groaned thickly, returning her kiss. He curled his arms around her, pulling her closer. His lips angled over hers and, when he swept his tongue over her bottom lip, a low throaty moan escaped as her lips parted for him. They had been waiting… wanting for longer than either of them would care to admit.

They kissed until the need to draw air forced their lips to part, but their gazes locked as they pulled away. Rafael’s hands moved up and down her back and their noses brushed as they tried to regulate their breathing, content simply to watch one another. A silent understanding passed between them, as it often had when they had worked together, only this time it was of a personal nature. Deeply personal. This was going to happen. _They_ were going to happen.

“Well,” said Rafa, finding his voice. “I think it’s safe to say, nothing under that tree will beat this.”

Olivia smiled warmly, her eyes alight with affection and love as her hand moved into his hair. Her fingers combed through his short, cropped locks. “I’ll send your gifts back then, shall I?”

“Let’s not be hasty.”

She chuckled as he brushed his lips over hers again.

“I love you, Liv. I’ve loved you for… well, let's just say it’s been a while.”

“I know. I think I’ve been in love with you for just as long, I just wasn't ready to see it. You stopped being just my best friend a while ago too."

Rafael stared at her for several moments. Her words rendered him almost speechless. At last, he reached for her and pulled her into his lap. His arms settled around her to cradle her close as she shifted to find a comfortable position. His lips moved against her hair. “I tried so hard not to fall in love with you, and when that failed, I tried to fall out of love with you. I never thought you’d want me; I didn’t think I was worthy of you.”

“I want you,” she assured. “Always. And in all ways.” It went more than just desire. It was knowing that he was nearby, it was the feel of his hand, a shared look. It was knowing that if she fell, he would be there to lift her up again. It was knowing that he trusted her every bit as much as she trusted him. “I have waited my entire adult life to understand what it feels like to know that I am loved. You’ve given me that, Rafa. And, you’re right, there is no better gift than that.”

Curled together on the sofa, they let the rest of the world fall away. They were left with only the sparkling lights of the tree dancing softly in the room, the warmth of a shared embrace, and a love that was worth holding on to.


End file.
